Long Life Good Life

It has been a long time since I've posted. I'll read something or do something that will make me want to post again. However, most of the time, I think of all of the other things I want or can do other than what I like doing.
So, I'm sitting here on a pillow in my bedroom in Westport, CT, my daughter is sleeping, my husband is out reading in the living room, and I can hear the sound of Amy Winehouse singing about her love of weed. While the Jerri of 36 totally disapproves of what the song is about, the Jerri of 21 would love to sit and enjoy the spaced out feeling of being high. But, I know that I could never go back t being that fat, pot smoking, 7-Eleven pastry eating girl I was some 15 years ago. Man, it feels like a lifetime ago when I was sitting up in my apartment in Columbus, Ohio smoking dope and eating half/priced croissants with my friend Tom. At the time he was an active bulimic and it was some craziness. I was such a wacky fag hag. Oh, I'm waxing poetic. Not really, but I'm so surprised that I lived through my 20s. Now, I'm sitting here in CT, I have a job I adore, a family that rocks and friends that I'm growing fonder of on a daily basis. Life twists and turns and shapes itself into exactly what it should be.
A new week is starting here are some of the things I have to do.
1. Pick up tax forms.
2. File tax forms.
3. Get to my Greysheet meeting on Tuesday.
4. Go to Mary Kay Unit meeting on Tuesday (busy night).
5. Submit YMCA application forms for Catherine's summer camp.
6. Book 3 Mary Kay events.
7. File all of my receipts.
8. Get in bed by 10:30 every night.
Speaking of which, it's almost 10:30 now. I have to wash my face, brush my teeth and crawl into bed. Feels so god to be sleep.
JCG

Back from the dead

I'm not sure if anyone reads this, but my vanity hopes that someone does. So, I continue to write. It has been months since I've last posted. My life and world have changed so much. So much better. It's moved by leaps and bounds and it is only getting better. i want to be a messenger of hope. There's so much more to come. I am alive for the first time in a few years. I was just living my life in Taiwan. Now, I live in Westport, Connecticut. I have a pretty good job that I enjoy and my daughter is happy, healthy, and safe.
Life is great.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of my father's death. I miss him, but I'm not sad. I'm grateful for what he gave me. I'm grateful for what I've become because of him.
Sleepy and I must get to bed, but I need to continue to write and do something for myself in this direction. But, life is getting better and there's so much more to do.
JCG

Get my blog on

All is well here in Taipei. Had a bit of a rough patch for a while. Was thinking about leaving Taiwan, my husband, and my life here. I wanted a changed and was totally looking for a geographic one. Didn't do it, obviously. Now, it is time to get a bit more focused and figure out what's next on the old agenda of life. So far I have a few work projects on the burner right now and a couple of freelance things in the works. It is all a blast and I feel fortunate, but then there are the big old goals that are looming ahead.
I've watched "The Secret." OK, everyone has an opinion on it and can see it as a self-help ball of baloney, but I love it. I feel and know that this is what so many people need. It is the answer to so much of what is lacking in our lives. We have so little faith in anything outside of ourselves. I believe in God and that I can have anything that I want, I just have to ask. That feels weird to even write this. Almost as if I'm afraid of being considered cool or something. Don't care at this point. I'd better get back to the family. It's a day off over here because of Lantern Festival so we'll head up to Costco for a bit and then I'll come home and do some work.
My five year Greysheet anniversary is coming up. I can't believe that I've been weighing and measuring my food for the past five years of my life. This is amazing and something I feel so blessed to do. I went from being this huge massive woman to being fit and trim (in parts) and I'm still in awe. I never thought I'd be slim, but here I am and it is amazing. Inside I'm still fat at times, but I'm working on just fully seeing myself as a thin woman.
All right. Off to the Costco. Why did I put an article in front of Costco? Don't know.
JCG

The Family Tree and all the Nuts on It

Sister Goddess

So, it is 2007. I'm 35 years old right now. I'm sitting here in my living room in Taipei and I'm wondering what is going to happen next. My husband keeps bugging me to blog. He has this silly ass way of thinking that I could make money from blogging. I personally don't see the point. I mean why would anyone do something like this only to make money? There are other ways to make a bit of cash. I can't really think of any, but who knows.
Yesterday we took Catherine to see "Charlotte's Web." It was great, but one of the super cool parts was being recognized by three different guys while we were waiting for the movie to start. I do this little TV spot with my boss that comes on every Thursday morning. It's only a five minute show, but it is scene by these guys in the military. So, I was sitting there and these guys were speaking in Chinese and they were saying my name. It was so cool! They spoke with me and said I was beautiful. They even took a photo with me. Now, I know that I'm not a celebrity or anything, but damn that was one of the neatest things that has happened to me in ages. Those were two of the guys. Later on after the movie, another guy said hello and said that he recognized me from the show. Never in a million years did I think this would happen. I'm thinkin that me has to go to the movie theater more often to get the old ego stroked.
I need to do it more often with my husband. I used to really love sex. I still enjoy it, but I'd actually rather get my hair washed and a shoulder massage. But once I get into it, I love it. It's just the whole getting the grove on that I'm not really good at anymore. I often wonder if I used up all of my orgasms. Is there like a limit or something? Is there a Great Big Book of Orgasms?
I'm trying to get back into my own desires. I sometimes am so clueless about what I want. Oh, I want money. Lots of it, but damn is it hard to get that one going. So, today I will do some work to earn some money and then do some studying on my copywriting course. I've totally put that one on the backburner. Moving it forward. Making time to do the things I need to do and want to do is going to be the priority this week.
Gotta fly.

This past year

The year is almost finished and a new one is about to begin. Sure I have resolutions floating around in my mind. The big question is if I'll commit to them and do anything tha I say I will. I sit here on Christmas day and I wish I could pick up the phone and call my dad. It has been almost two months since he passed away. It still stings and I want to cry when I think about him, but these tears dry and I go on. I still want my daddy. It is a need that I know will never leave me. It is an ache that will always be there. I can't replace him. When it comes to men and relationships, they can be replaced but a father can't. A child can't. A lover can, but no one can ever replace my dad.
I'm stalling and I need to get back to work. I always have more than I can handle to do, but I think I'm getting a grip on some of it. Today I'm going to do my math homework. It will be a start on it again. God please help me. I need a math fairy to come and land on my shoulder.
J

Why can't it be super easy?

OK, I want decisions to be easy. I want things to be like when I was a kid and could just flip a coin and make decisions. But, it isn't and I don't know what to do half the time. So, the question remains what do I want to do with the rest of my life? Do I want to be a "Clocking in Drone," or do I want to see what I'm capable of doing on my own? I find the idea of working for myself so appealing. Perhaps it's because I've been working for other people for 21 years of my life. Of course I work for myself so that I can earn money to live, but there just seems to be something so grinding on my nerves about having to live my life by a time clock. It isn't that I'm above this, but there is a slavery to it that just makes me want to grind my teeth until they burst into shards. I love writing. I always have. Ever since I wrote a story about a guy who started to freak out when his appliances came to life. I was in the second grade and Mrs. Carter loved it. Since then, I've loved hooking up words and trying to make things clearer to people. But there are billions of people out there that fancy themselves to be writers. I mean a ton of them. So how do I make myself any different? How can I stand out from this crowd and do something? I'm not a novelist, yet. I won't even raise that one, but I do enjoy other types of writing.
I need a few cheerleaders. That's what every girl needs in her life. Just a few people to stand on the sidelines to help me get up the confidence to do something other than what I'm doing. My husband isn't exactly a great cheerleader. In fact, he's that person in the crowd heckling me. Maybe he's not, but this is how I feel a lot of the time.
Need to get back to work.
Kisses.