Sick Day

Pictures from the MRT. Sleeping Woman and Bad Spelling.

I took the day off because I thought for sure I was dying. I wasn't and I haven't. Just a bit of a sinus infection. Drugs are fantastic and I'm always amazed at the beauty of modern medicine. I went to the doctor, sat for five minutes while he asked me questions, and then three minutes later I walked out with my salvation. I feel a hundred times better than I did when I woke up. Catherine is sitting at the table eating her dinner and I'm feeling like a bad mother, but I don't have any other time to write than the hours when she's at home. I sneak a few minutes in here and there. My sister sent me a picture of my other sister's daughter. She's only three but she is huge. It makes me so sad because it seems like my sister didn't learn the lesson of what it was like to be fat growing up. I remember is all so clearly and I don't want my daughter to go through this. I'm not going to starve her, but I do make sure that she eats in moderation and her diet is healthy.
I hated being fat. I hated the way I looked in the mirror. Every part of my life was controlled by the fat that covered my body. At my heighest weight I was 310. This was back in college. I'm now in a normal body, but still I sometimes see myself as the fat girl I was for so long. She comes out and tells me that I'm nothing. She looks me in the eye and tells me that none of my dreams will come to anything. She's such a bitch. I know that I can easily go back to where I was. It is just a matter of picking up that first bite of things I can't eat. It would just take one bite and I'm gone. My food story is so long and troubling, but it is who I am.
I'd better sit with Catherine while she eats. She's such a little muffin.