I'm a murderer

In the past ten minutes, I've killed with the pressure of my thumb, about a dozen ants. I'm sick and tired of these damn things. Everywhere I look in my house, I see these little ants. I've put down paste, sprays, and anything else in hopes of getting rid of them but they won't go away. I'm having one of those days when I want to jump out of my skin. I want to live somewhere else. I'm tired of the sameness and the everydayness of my life here. I'm not craving the excitement of a big city or anything like that. Hell, Taipei is pretty big. What I want is to go somewhere and see something new. I do the same thing over and over again. Week after week. I'm getting bored with it all. My husband doesn't understand this and doesn't quite understand why I'm going crazy.
Today was the start of Ghost Month. It's a horrid time of year and I can still smell the stink of burning paper on my skin. People burn fake money to honor their ancestors. Today they did it in my office and I stood out there trying to be part of the team when all I really wanted was a chance to take some interesting pictures. I think I got a few, but at the same time I'm sure I have black lung. I should be used to it now, but I'm not.
My computer was being repaired for a few days and I think this made me cranky as hell. It's not so much that I'm addicted to it, it's just that without my laptop, I feel like a part of my body has been cut off. It is the way I've communicated with people for the past few years and being without it was uncomfortable. OK, maybe I am addicted to typing and writing, but not the Internet. That's what the work computer is for.
I just cleaned my living room. I purge every few weeks, just to get rid of some of the stuff that accumulates. The first time I did it, I felt like a queen. Garbage bag after garbage bag left my three bedroom apartment. I feel peaceful for about a week, but then more kept coming in. I know I should be in a 12 step program for cluttering, but I can only do one at a time. I just never want to end up like my mother. She is a total slob. That's a nice way of putting it. Her house is and always will be a total disgusting excuse for a home. I haven't been inside the house in about seven or eight years. I peaked inside the last time I went home, but I didn't go in. There are a lot of bad memories and I'm afraid if I go back in, I'll get sucked back into that world. Maybe that's why I moved halfway around the world.
I'm sleepy and I'd better go to sleep. I am going to try and add pictures today, but the last time it didn't work.
Night.